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  • Genius things to 100% do with your Chromebook
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  • Farewell To The Leader of The Bengal Pack
  • Student Speaker Slays Senior Speech
  • Finding Our New Principal: What’s Next?
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Satire

Satire 

Genius things to 100% do with your Chromebook

June 12, 2025June 12, 2025 Amina Sallman Amina Sallman, MCPS, moco, Satire, TikTok

Recently, MCPS sent out a very informative message about a β€œpotentially dangerous trend,” namely, inserting lead into the USB ports

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Life Satire 

The Senioritis Pandemic

May 13, 2025May 13, 2025 Ray Njassu HS, pandemic, Ray Njassu, Satire, senioritis, William Zheng

(This is a Satirical piece) Blake High School Alert, fellow students! There has been an outbreak of a potentially deadly

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Satire 

The Bengal Parent’s Guide to the Parking Lot

March 21, 2024March 21, 2024 Taylor Lindsley blake parking, Buses, Cars, Parking Passes, student parking, Taylor Lindsley, traffic

Hey Bengal Parents! Have you ever found the Blake student parking lot impassable and puzzling? Have you spent countless freezing

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Satire 

Shoving Your Way to Success at Blake

October 2, 2023October 2, 2023 Josephine Andoh Blake, Hallways, Josephine Andoh, Satire

This is a work of satire. Are you tired of having to wait behind a horde of people mindlessly scrolling

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Life Satire 

How to Take 4 AP Exams in 4 Days

May 24, 2023May 24, 2023 Taylor Lindsley Amoeba Sisters, AP Classroom, AP Exams, AP Scores, CollegeBoard, Crash Course, Heimler's History, Taylor Lindsley

Hey overachievers! If you’ve signed yourself up to take more than 2 AP classes next year at Blake, you’ve come

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Life Satire 

Unbeatable Valentine’s Gifts for Bae

February 14, 2023February 14, 2023 Former Staff Member Autumn Byrant, baptism, car, Gifts, heart, lobotomy, Love, Money, Relationships, tapeworm, Valentines

Valentine’s Day is coming up very soon, and that means showing your Kitten, Shmoopie, Booger, Paycheck, Sharty– or whatever you

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Life Satire 

Silly, Salty, and Serious: New Years Resolutions!

January 17, 2023January 17, 2023 Melanie Licona 0 Comments Leila Diomande, New Years, Satire, Wacky

If you’re in need of some new resolutions or just want to spice up your list, here are some good

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Life Satire 

The Ultimate Gift Guide for Blake Gals and Goons

December 8, 2022December 9, 2022 Former Staff Member 0 Comments Blake Issues, Fixing Problems, Gift Guide, holidays, Indira Kar

The holiday season is upon us and so the quest for the perfect gift begins. Some people ask for a

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Opinion Satire 

Top 10 Best Soups of All Time ft. Famous Haiku Writer

December 1, 2022December 9, 2022 Former Staff Member 0 Comments Autumn Bryant, Fall Soups, Satire, Soup, Top Ten Soups

β€œWinter rain,  Means steamed windows,  So before I eat,  I take off my glasses.” -History teacher and published poet Robert

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Satire 

The Effortless Process of Fixing Global Warming

March 30, 2022March 30, 2022 Former Staff Member 0 Comments Global Warming, Omar Chicas, Satire

Global warming, a minor problem that can be fixed very easily even though it has not been fixed for over

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Entertainment Satire 

CW: The Television Channel of Our Dreams

March 30, 2022March 30, 2022 Former Staff Member 0 Comments Arts, CW, Flash, Satire, Viet Ngo

The CW was just given the award for β€œBest Network Television Channel!” It became popular for its many great shows

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Satire Sports 

#WEAREBLAKE!! BLAKE BENGALS TO SUPER BOWL

February 10, 2022February 10, 2022 Former Staff Member 0 Comments Alayna Brandolini, Blake football, Football, Mandy Sanidad, Satire, weareblake

All quotes are 100% fake. Recently announced after the conference championship, the Blake Bengals are now preparing for their very

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Entertainment Opinion Satire 

Euphoria Showcases the Unrepresented Struggle of Hardworking Sex Traffickers, Once Again Spreading Awareness and Totally not Triggering Anyone

February 8, 2022February 9, 2022 Former Staff Member 0 Comments Euphoria, Indira Kar, Joking, Satire, Sex Trafficking, Sexual Abuse

This is a satire, all non-famous people mentioned are made up along with all quotes, for the purpose of entertainment.

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Opinion Satire 

MCPS To Implement Hypnopedia in Effort to Make Up Snow Days

February 8, 2022February 9, 2022 Former Staff Member 0 Comments COVID-19, MCPS, Satire, snow days

This article is a work of satire- all information and quotes are 100% fictional. In a bold new effort to

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COVID-19 Life Satire 

Live, Laugh, Love <3 MCPS Currently

January 21, 2022January 21, 2022 Former Staff Member 0 Comments COVID-19, Mandy Sanidad, MCPS, please close schools i beg, Satire

I love it at school right now. Nothing like walking into the hallways and breathing in a thick scent of

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  • Finding Our New Principal: What’s Next?

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