The Official Ranking of Jolly Rancher Favors

One day in our beloved class we decided to look at jolly rancher flavors for some reason. (There are like a lot??) This then turned into a heated debate over which the best flavor is. So I decided to whip up a definitely, completely unbiased list of the best jolly rancher flavors complete with reasons as to why they’re someone’s favorite. From least to best:

No response: 

Alayna does not like jolly ranchers. She is a “salt girl through and through.” I get it, but also, you should have an answer, Alayna. 

Grape: 

It’s just not good. I mean sure if you like the taste of medicine then like to be my guest. It’s unpopular for a reason though. At least you’ll know that it’ll always be an option because NO ONE LIKES IT?? 

Resident grape lover: Viet Ngo

Why?: “I don’t know. It’s just better” 

Thank you Viet. 

Green Apple: 

I think green apple people are gonna get an ego cause they’re not last. I wish you were. The only reason you’re not last is because the green is prettier than the purple. With that being said, if I HAD to choose, green apple is better than grape…I guess.

Resident Green Apple fan: Tokyo Constant 

Why?: “‘Cause it’s green. Both a sweet and sour taste. Delectable”

Wise words, thank you. 

Cherry:

Now here’s a flavor I can actually tolerate. I GUESS I can understand why you would like it. It will never be my first choice, however I won’t bully you if you choose it. I mean, it used to be my favorite before I realized there was a difference between it and watermelon in, like, 4th grade. 

Resident Cherry Admirer: Malik Jangha 

Why?: “No others are good. I just like the cherry” 

Valid.

WATER-MF-MELON: 

This is easily one of the two best flavors. A classic, a go to. I typically don’t like watermelon things but this is quite the exception. I just don’t see the appeal of the other flavors when watermelon is right there. 

Resident watermelon devotee: Mandy Sanidad

Why?: “It’s kinda just the best flavor. Not too intense, not too sweet.”

Mandy knows what he. Is. Talking. About. They GET it. 

*Drumroll*

Last but not least the best jolly rancher flavor is… (though I’m sure you’ve guessed it through process of elimination) 

BLUE RASPBERRY: 

MMMMMMMMMM my mouth is watering just thinking about it. Sweet but not too sweet. Tart but not too tart. Perfect shade of blue. Such a unique flavor. When I think blue raspberry I think jolly rancher. (Jolly Rancher if and when you see this you don’t have to pay me to use that). Somehow it’s never an option, so I go with watermelon but as soon as I see that ocean blue on a desk MY EYE IS ON THE PRIZE. 

The woman with the most wisdom: Samantha Nguyen

Why?: “I don’t know, I just like it. It just tastes better than the other one.”

That is literally so real, oh my god.  

I will not be taking criticism. ~ Reese S

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