A Definitive Blake Bathroom Ranking

Calling all Blake students—freshmen, sophomores, and upperclassmen alike—I have need-to-know information. Although I’m sure nobody LIKES using the bathrooms at school, it’s good to find out which is the best bathroom to go to. So I have created a ranking of all bathrooms at Blake, from best to worst. As someone who can and has used both bathrooms, I REALLY can give everyone the ins and outs of every Blake bathroom. To be blunt, this is a guide of which bathrooms are least likely to smell like weed and have kids skipping.

• Best bathroom – The ground floor bathroom by the theater/main office

I almost never see anyone in this bathroom or anywhere near it. Since it’s out of the way from most classrooms and so close to a bunch of administrators and teachers, it’s usually empty, so it’s chill. Unless you’re trying to go to the bathroom to skip, I think it’s the best bathroom to use.

• Upstairs C hall bathroom

This bathroom is pretty much empty when you use them during the day, but if you visit before school there’s usually a lot of people getting ready, so I’d say it’s a little worse than the theater bathroom.

• Downstairs spiral staircase intersection / B hall bathroom

I’ve never seen anyone actually use these bathrooms, since the only time I went in them was to look for more paper towels when I took ceramics. It’s a pretty safe bet to use. They’re locked occasionally, and there was a fight there when I was a freshman, but it’s calmed down since then. Maybe avoid going there right before or after lunch though, just to be safe.

• Nurse’s bathroom

Although students can’t really just use the nurse’s bathroom like a normal bathroom, it always has supplies for people with periods which is super helpful.

• Lunch room bathroom

It doesn’t USUALLY have people because security stands in the intersection by the cafeteria, but on occasion you’ll find someone there. It doesn’t matter too much though since the bathroom is pretty large. There is a really loud vent by these bathrooms, though.

• Upstairs bathrooms at the A and D hall intersection

Is just as big as the bathroom at the other end of A hall, but less kids skip there. It’s not empty, but there’s not as many people. They’re a little dirtier than some other bathrooms, though.

• Upstairs bathrooms at the A and B hall intersection

I have mixed feelings about the upstairs bathroom at the corner of A and B hall. It’s really popular for students to skip there, so there’s always a lot of people there, but there’s good service there.

• Downstairs F hall bathrooms (includes the one at the end of E hall)

When it’s not locked, it’s 50/50—you could find an empty bathroom or a bunch of kids smoking. But most of the time it’s locked.

• Downstairs C hall bathroom

I don’t think I’ve ever found this bathroom empty, especially before school. You’ll find a lot of people chatting and getting ready by the mirrors. Supposedly it can smell like weed and piss though…yuck.

• Upstairs E hall bathrooms

They always smell like weed, and they’re pretty small, so you have to wait for a stall more often than not. If you HAVE to use these bathrooms, be as quick as you can.

• Locker room bathrooms

They stink and hardly ever have soap or paper towels, and they’re locked most of the day. Don’t use them unless it’s an emergency.

• Worst bathroom – Spiral staircase/library bathrooms

Shocker, it’s another bathroom that’s frequently locked. Half of the time it’s locked because people skip in there so often and even when it’s not locked, people are in there skipping, so it’s real awkward to try and use the bathroom. When it’s not locked to avoid skipping, it’s inaccessible because of maintenance or something. Also when I used the men’s bathroom, there was a whole jacket on the ground and some guy in the stall next to me watching a sports game at full volume. 0/10 experience I was scared unnecessarily.

Recently one of my friends complained about this bathroom too, saying, “i was just trying to use the bathroom and when i came out there were girls twerking by the sink 🙁” on twitter (follow them @backstromstann). This bathroom sucks. Just walk to a different one.

I mean, the best advice I can give is to avoid using the bathrooms at school completely, but if you have to use the bathroom, I would try the ones at the top of my list. All I have left to say is good luck and make good decisions kids.