Upperclassmen Uncensored: Rules to Relationships

How do you come out to parents who are conservative or religious?

Indira: So I just got outed to my dad, and he was not understanding at all. I would suggest being very careful with this. Sometimes it is best to wait until you are out of the house because safety is the number one priority. At the present moment, my dad is ignoring the issue and I’m honestly thankful because the alternative would be a lot worse. If you absolutely have to for your sanity or whatever reason, I would suggest hinting at it slowly or kind of testing the waters to see what kind of reaction you will get.

Sofia: I totally agree with Indira about the first part. I know it’s really, really hard emotionally and mentally to have to hide such a big and important part of yourself, and it sucks, but your safety should always come first. But, if you’re looking for some extra support, Blake has Allies 4 Equality, which is our GSA club. There will be people who know what you’re going through and will be able to empathize with you and be there for you when you need it. Good luck, wishing the best for you < 3

Which bathroom is best to go to each period?

Alayna: Uhhhh… the one closest to your class??

Sofia: I like the bathroom in A hallway near the stairs. It’s really big (for a high school bathroom) and mostly empty whenever I go in, so I like it a lot. 

Indira: I agree with Sofia. So the one near counseling has no camera near it, if you ever feel observed. The one next to the spiral staircase is one of the biggest in the school, and the two bathrooms near the auditorium are probably my favorite because they are huge. Bathrooms are safe places.

How to become an official member of a club?

Indira: Literally just show up and ask a club leader to sign you up! Club leaders really want members and no one will judge you for being there if they are a decent person. I recommend Key Club, Girls who Code, Journalism and Stage Crew (shameless plug). If you don’t know anyone in those clubs, you can totally come up to me (tall girl with purple hair) and I’ll introduce you to people. Plus it’s really good for college, and essential that you join clubs early on!

Sofia: There are also some classes that count as clubs, too, such as Yearbook and Journalism a.k.a. the best club at Blake, so keep those on your radar, too!! In general, Blake has so many unique clubs that cater to so many interests, so I also really recommend that you branch out and try new things!!!! Joining clubs are surefire ways to make new friends #speakingfromexperience, so you could definitely meet a bunch of cool new people you would have never had the opportunity to meet before, which is always super fun. However, for clubs like NHS, NEHS, ACES, joining is a little harder than just showing up. These require you to fill out an application and stuff, but they’re honestly totally worth it in the long run. Also, you get cords at graduation for joining these clubs so #slay.

How to get out of a toxic relationship 🙁

Alayna: I think you’ve already taken the first step by admitting that your relationship isn’t healthy. It’s difficult to admit that a person who you’ve opened yourself up to isn’t treating you right, but you have to put yourself first. It’s common for manipulative people to try to isolate you from your family and friends in order to have more control over you. This makes it extra hard to leave them because you feel like they’re all you have. It is important to surround yourself with a support system as you prepare to get out of the relationship. When you’re ready to break it off, do it straight to the point. Don’t allow yourself to simply argue and then stay, because you know that’s not what you want. Stay strong and protect yourself against manipulation. Once you’ve ended it for good, block them. Don’t let yourself be “friends” with them- we know how that’ll end. The first few weeks are going to be hard. You’re gonna feel lonely and regret your decision. You just have to get through that rough patch to realize that you did what is best for you. Make sure you’re surrounding yourself with friends and family, going out, and staying active in general. It’ll be rough, but it’s so worth it. I’ve been in your place before and I only realized how truly awful the situation was when I looked back at it a few years later. Remember to put yourself first always, and good luck. 

Sofia: Also, I think it’s really important to recognize your worth as a person. When you know that you deserve more, you’ll be able to work more towards getting out of that relationship. Like, you should know you deserve better than this, that you deserve a genuine, happy, loving relationship. I think when you know your worth it really makes things easier for you. I know it’s probably super scary but, you, and along with everyone else, deserve to be in a healthy relationship!!!! Don’t settle for toxicity because you love them; you’re in high school, you’re going to love a lot of people in the future, ones who will treat you as you deserve to be.

How to tell my best friend I love them:

Lauren: Bestie, if this is a thing you have been thinking about doing for a while now, I believe it’s best to just tell them. I can understand the fear of them rejecting you and the possibility of losing a really close friend but I dont think it’s a good idea for you to suppress your feelings. Once they go off and date someone else the pain you will feel when you see them being happy and in love with someone else is excruciating. 

Alayna: I agree with Lauren- #yolo. You’ll regret it if you keep it to yourself. If they feel the same, yay!!!!! If not, you can try to move on and at least have some closure. 

Indira: If they are truly your best friend, then you shouldn’t have to worry about how they will respond. Just like Alayna says. 

Sofia: Real

What to look for when looking at colleges and what factors to consider:

Alayna: The college search process can be SO stressful. I’d say a good first step is to go onto Naviance and complete the “Supermatch”. You select criteria that are important to you and Naviance will provide you with a bunch of colleges that fit your criteria. This helps you get an idea of where to look. From there I would say find 10-15 colleges that interest you and do some deeper research on them by visiting their website. Definitely consider academic factors like available majors, competitiveness of the student body, study abroad programs, etc. as well as social factors such as size and location. After you find 3-10 colleges you want to apply to I would definitely recommend visiting as many as possible. Visit small liberal arts colleges, city schools, and big state schools. The best way to experience a school and see what you like is to physically visit the school. After that- apply to a few schools to ensure you have options and wait for the decisions to come out! Good luck!!!!!!

Sofia: Also remember that whatever you end up pursuing after high school is completely valid; Whether it be university, community college, taking a gap year to work or travel, etc., all of those decisions are completely, 100% valid!!!! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!!! Everyone has their own path in life, and it’s okay if yours doesn’t include higher education, as long as you’re confident about what you’re pursuing, you’ll be okay!!!!