Genius things to 100% do with your Chromebook

Recently, MCPS sent out a very informative message about a “potentially dangerous trend,” namely, inserting lead into the USB ports of chromebooks. In honor of this spectacular trend going around, here are a few other genius things (that will definitely not harm anyone) that you can do with your chromebook:

1. Use it as a charcuterie board

Cheese, apricot jam, crackers, cured meats ‒ so many endless possibilities to plate on your overheating laptop. Just drape some sharp cheddar over the keyboard for some tech friendly garnish, the alt key is never useful anyway. And with the computer emitting flames, it will give it that delicate and sophisticated melted look. The usb ports ‒ useful for some pretzel sticks.

2. Trust Every Pop-Up Add

“Congratulations! You won a free iphone!” Sure, and I’m the queen of England. Click that, and your computer will be hosting a malware rave so wild, even your antivirus will call in sick. Faster than you can yell “Why did I click that?!??!!” your files will be dancing the cha-cha slide with the ransomware. Enjoy your new free “gift” ‒ courtesy of the internet’s most distinguished scammers.

3. Use it as a pillow

Because why settle for a cozy pillow when you can smush your face into a keyboard that’s about as comfortable as rusty nails? Bonus points if you wake up to a dozen typo riddled emails you definitely didn’t mean to send.

4. Use it as a space heater

Your laptop’s CPU heats up so much, it’s basically running its own personal sauna. Who needs a fancy heater on a cold winter night when your computer can warm up your toes and roast your dreams at the same time? 

5. Use ‘Password123’ for everything 

Security?? Pfftttt, who needs that when your password is so simple even your goldfish could hack you. Bonus points if you write it on a neon green sticky note and proudly display it on your screen like a badge of honor for everyone to see. Congrats! You’ve officially made your computer the equivalent of an unlocked cookie jar.

6. Surf with it

Who needs a surfboard made of polyurethane when you can have a 15-inch laptop and a wish to drown? Just duct tape it shut, use some wax for the extra glide, and ride the waves into an ocean of bad choices. Sure, it may not have been designed for water sports, but were you?