Lexa’s Very Serious Monster Flavor Ranking
As someone who has been drinking Monster since 2018, I know a thing or two about their flavors. I’ve been drinking it long enough to have witnessed some of their new releases, and see others be discontinued. Using my expertise, I will be ranking monster flavors within their respective categories: Juice, Tea, Reserve, and Ultra. My rankings are from worst to best.
Juice: Papillon, Khaotic, Pacific Punch, Mango Loco, Aussie Style Lemonade, Pipeline Punch
Worst: I feel like Papillon is a peach-flavored drink done wrong. Every time I have this flavor I get what you call the “heebie jeebies.” I genuinely can’t finish one in the span of 24 hours. The flavor just isn’t my favorite. This isn’t to be mistaken with its ultra counterpart, Peachy Keen, which I enjoy way more. Papillon personally does not go down smoothly, but if strong peach juice flavor is up your alley, then go for it. Opinions on this flavor are pretty fifty-fifty, you either love it or you hate it.
Best: Pipeline Punch is a classic flavor. It is usually one of the first Monsters I think of when I think of “standard” Monsters (e.g. original, ultra white, ultra violet). I’m gonna be honest, I can’t really pinpoint what fruit it tastes like, but what I can tell you is that it is delicious. You have to pace yourself with this flavor or else you might end up chugging it in four sips because you want to keep tasting the flavor. Highly recommend.
Tea: Orangeade, Lemonade, Watermelon, Peach, Strawberry Lemonade, Raspberry
Worst: The Orangeade Monster tastes despicable. There are no good things to say about this flavor. It doesn’t taste like orange or lemonade, it just tastes bitter. Would not recommend. It is probably the worst flavor on this list in general. I don’t even know why they would make this into a flavor in the first place, it doesn’t sound appetizing. Tea, ORANGE JUICE, lemonade. Blegh.
Best: This tastes like heaven. The Raspberry Tea monster actually tastes like what’s written on the can. It is nice and sweet, and will make you want to chug three cans of it back to back. I’ve been having some trouble finding it in stores lately, though. Sometimes I wish they could just sell jugs of it at the store, I would totally buy it. Every person I know who doesn’t regularly drink Monster who has tried this flavor has enjoyed it. Solid flavor.
Reserve: White Pineapple, Watermelon, Original
Worst: Well, I wouldn’t say that the white pineapple one is the worst, because it’s far from that. The other flavors in this category just happen to be better. The White Pineapple reserve Monster is basically a fizzy piña-colada. Like the original Monster, this flavor is best served cold. The taste isn’t as intense as other flavors, so if you like delicate flavors that go down smoothly, I highly suggest this flavor. Or any of the reserves, they are so tasty.
Best: How can you disrespect the most classic flavor?! The original flavor and I have had a rocky relationship. Back in 2018, when I first started drinking Monster energy, I didn’t really like this flavor. I thought it tasted like what everyone else compares it to: Battery Acid. However, now that I am a refined Monster-Drinking veteran, I can easily say that it is one of my favorite flavors. It tastes the best when it is ice-cold, so leave it in the fridge and then try it!
Ultra: Fiesta, Violet, Sunrise, Gold, Blue, Paradise, Peachy Keen, White, Rosa, Red, Watermelon, Black
Worst: The Ultra Fiesta is by far one of my least favorite Monster flavors ever. It wants to be its mango counterpart, Mango Loco, so bad but can’t measure up. I can’t even get through three sips of it without wanting to get rid of it. The mango-flavoring is completely different from the juice Monster of the same fruit. Carbonating something that would be better as a flat juice just never made sense to me. Ultra Fiesta is repulsive. I would rather have the other Ultra that was released alongside it, Ultra Rosa.
Best: Oh boy, you guys don’t even understand how delicious the Ultra Black Monster is. If you like Black- Cherry flavored anything, then you will love this Monster. I found out about it back when I first started drinking Monster and it immediately climbed the ranks and became my favorite flavor. A year or two later, I could no longer find it. I have been missing out on the delicacy that is Ultra Black. The only place you can really find it now is Amazon, in 24 packs that are pretty pricey. I would say it’s worth it, though. I hope they bring it back to stores one day, I miss it so much.
Of course, there will be people who disagree with my rankings, since everyone’s opinions are different, but we can agree to disagree. If you’re itching to try some of these flavors, I’d recommend 7-11, since they usually have good deals on Monster.