Lose Money and Gain Weight With These Girl Scout Cookies

It is that time of year again: where we all come together and pay for overpriced cookies and gain an unacceptable amount of weight. You guessed it, Girl Scout cookies season has arrived, a season that fundamentally deserves its own holiday. 

Special thanks to Kat Comer for the poll data

For everyone with their money already out of their wallets and their mouths helplessly drooling, you might be wondering which Girl Scout box to buy and consume in under five minutes. Well, we rated the top eight cookies from “could-be-better” to “oh-my-god-I-would-die-for-this-cookie” using a cup of your opinions, a teaspoon of wise local Girl Scouts’ experiences, and a sprinkle Blake Beat bias. 

Dos-si-Dos:

If a Nutter Butter and an Oreo had a child, this cookie would be born and boy, are many of us thankful for that. Although these knock off peanut butter crackers are not the most top-ranked, they still hold a special place in someone’s heart.

Toffee-tastic:

If you like a bit of sound with your cookies, these crunchy cookies with toffee-hidden bits are fantastic for you. With some milk and these cookies, you really feel like a nourished Santa Claus.

Savannah Smiles:

Savannah is not the only one smiling with these cookies. Although Christine Teign disagrees, this Christine definitely approves. These lemon cookies give us a different shape and zest the other cookies fail to offer.

Trefoils:

It is impressive how such a simple shortbread cookie can make it to the near top of this list. Trefoils make the perfect midnight snack when they are dipped with a glass of milk, hot chocolate, coffee or tea. It is plain, yet it is bland. It is buttery yet, it is not that crumbly. They do not really stand out and might be a little too simple. It is just the average classic cookie. If this cookie was a member of the Kardashian family, it would be Kendall Jenner. It is just that simple, but we still gotta thank Trefoils for making us feel less unhealthy than the other cookies. 

Editor’s Note: These will make you sick if you have more than two.

Tagalongs:

This cookie is to die for. Chocolate and peanut butter make the best combination. Crunchy and creamy make the best combination. And with both of these combinations together, the Tagalong is born to be the fourth greatest cookie. If you are reading this, please send a box to room D253.

Rah-Rah Raisins:

The right amount of raisins. The right amount of oatmeal. These cookies give us a crunchy, chewy, that gets-stuck-in-your-teeth texture. But, unless you suffer from a severe obsession for raisins, there should be no reason you are getting a box of these cookies because they just come in one singular sleeve. Unacceptable. 

Samoas:

Most of us are aware of how much chocolate and caramel are meant to be together, and this cookie gives us just that. However, we are not the biggest fans of coconut, but if you are, then your dream cookie is right here. 

Thin-Mints:

Unarguably, these cookies sit right on top of the girl scouts cookie food chain. As number one fans of Thin-Mints, we are sure glad that our Bengals realize the superiority of heavenly minty deliciousness.

There I was: ranking each kind of girl scout cookies so that you do not have to. With all these different opinions and preferences about which cookie beats the other, I think we can all agree on one thing: Girl Scouts really do know how to market. They somehow convince thousands of people to pay five bucks for a box of fifteen cookies every year. 

Although we might feel bad about all the money we spend and the weight we gain with these cookies, we should also be proud of helping young girls to be go-getters, innovators, risk-takers, and leaders. Give yourself a pat on the back. We are helping girls one box at a time.