This past year, everyone has been celebrating holidays differently, and Valentine’s Day won’t be an exception. Without being able to go into school near the fourteenth (because it’s a Sunday), the tired rituals of Valentine’s Day will no longer have to be witnessed by an uninterested crowd of students trying to get to their next period. Although some of us appreciate getting a piece of chocolate or two from friends, I think COVID has saved most from dealing with the sappy melodrama of your typical public school Valentine’s Day.
Firstly, let me cover the proposals that happen in the days leading up to Valentine’s Day. Yes, it may help everyone get into the proper holiday spirit, but frankly I prefer my hallway commutes not to be interrupted by a group of people backing up one stuttering, red faced person who attempts to ask someone else to be their valentine. Granted, it’s not nearly as bad as some homecoming proposals, as the themed signs usually aren’t present for Valentine’s Day, but I digress. It’s rather embarrassing to watch, especially when the two involved parties weren’t originally dating.
Secondly, I take issue with the singing valentines that takes place specifically at Blake. While I appreciate everyone who takes time out of their day to sing for students, and I have to admit that it serves as an efficient fundraiser, there’s a couple things I dislike about it. There’s no variety in the songs that are sung. It’s always the same one. For at least a decade now, the song chosen for the singing valentines has yet to be changed, and it can get pretty annoying. Not to mention, they’re pretty distracting. Last year, my class was frequently interrupted because of the faint singing that echoed throughout the hallways as someone from another class received a singing valentine. I’ll admit, it was kinda funny the first time, but it’s pretty ominous to hear slightly muted, echoing sopranos at 9:30 in the morning. It’s more akin to a chilly wake-up call, perhaps.
It’s fine to be single on Valentine’s Day, sure. You get to spend time appreciating your friends and other people you value in your life. However, you also tend to get a lot of unsolicited comments from random people. I know they’re probably meant to be encouraging, but really they just come off as insulting and inconsiderate. No, I don’t need to hear about the fact that you think I’m great and all, and that it’ll be my time eventually, and that there’s plenty of fish in the sea—trust me, I’ve heard it before, I don’t need to hear it again, or be reminded of everything on a day where it’s already being made painfully aware that everyone my age is happily in love. Being single is fine, but it’s bothersome to get unwanted sympathy for it.
I think what gets on people’s nerves the most is the overbearing and inconspicuously large gifts that people carry around all day. Huge bouquets of roses, balloons, those giant 6-foot teddy bears that they store above the freezers at Safeway…it’s nice to receive them, sure, but why carry them around all day? That’s the unnecessary and irritating part. Yes, I’m sure your teddy bear may not fit in your locker, so you need to carry it to each and every one of your classes, but maybe communicate to whoever brought it to you that you really shouldn’t give that type of thing to someone at a public school, where over 1,000 people attempt to walk in overcrowded hallways. It’s like the people who carry around an almost empty cup of iced coffee all day. You can put it down or get rid of it for the time being, it doesn’t need to be an accessory.
Is some of this satire for the sake of being pessimistic? Yeah, sure. Of course you’re allowed to be happy with a special someone on Valentine’s Day; that’s the whole point of the holiday. But do you need to shove the fact that you are happily in a relationship down hundreds of apathetic teenagers’ throats? Probably not.